If you haven’t already seen it then you may be interested to know that I launched another new web comic on Wednesday; One More Wish. This is the story of Ned, a twentysomething geek who wishes for a better life. But every wish has a price! This is a joint effort between myself and the talented Millie Henson. I’m providing the story, she’s handling the art. Check back every Wednesday for a new installment in the life of Ned!
Writing in Advance
Where possible I tend to create episodes of Baby001 several days in advance and upload them to the server to be ‘published’ automatically on the correct day. This was especially true over Christmas as I really didn’t want to take time out from the celebrations to update the comic.
This does pose a problem though as the vast majority of Baby001 episodes are based on real events, so as a result most episodes are about things that happened a week or so previously. This means that Christmas-related material won’t be out until the new year, which is a slight hitch. Still, I don’t think anyone was avidly refreshing the web comic on Christmas morning waiting for new festive material, so it’s not the end of the world.
Speaking of web comics, I have a new one on the way in the new year, so watch this space for more information soon.
Whoops!
Whoops! It’s been a few months since I updated my writing blog. Having a new baby can distract you like that. đ Rest assured I’ve been busy writing though; Baby001 is now on its 61st episode.
In contrast Surreal Science is currently on hiatus due to conflicts in the artist’s schedule, but we hope to bring you more in the new year if possible.
Baby001 – A New Web Comic
This is my latest project, Baby001, a web comic about pregnancy, babies and impending fatherhood. Essentially it’s a way to vent all my baby-related humour without annoying my wife. New episodes will be posted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so please remember to check back regularly! đ
Surreal Science Ep118
Episode 118 of Surreal Science is out now.
Surreal Science Ep117
Episode 117 of Surreal Science is out now.
Surreal Science Ep116
Episode 116 of Surreal Science is out now.
On Red Sands
This is a short piece I wrote for a WH40K Horus Heresy era themed writing challenge. The writing prompt was “Birdsong drifted through the bars of the prison cell”.
##TIMESTAMP: 22:05 Sidereal Standard [Live]
Birdsong drifted through the bars of his prison cell, or so it seemed. But Albor Tholus knew it was a lie. The code embedded in the audio file was subtle – elegant even – and it was designed to pick the data-locks on his machine memory engrams, making him susceptible to the data probes of the Mechanicum interrogators.
He countered as best he could. Code-phrase dogrel poured from his ruined lips and mnemonic firewalls blazed, but slivers of data slipped through. The song was starting to play with his perceptions. Memories from earlier that day were popping to the surface of his thoughts like corks in water. If he could just concen-
##TIMESTAMP: 07:34 Sidereal Standard [Engram]
âThis vista possesses a 93% visual match with Sacred Mars,â observed Albor Tholus as he surveyed the red sands of Twenty Nine Six, âI can see why our ancestors chose this sphere over this systemâs alternative habitable worlds.â
His colleagues signalled their assent.
Orbital scans from the 29th Expedition had revealed the faded signatures of a Mechanicum presence, so the fleetâs Martian contingent had been assigned to make first planetfall. But even as they descended in their shuttles and bulk landers they could see that disappointment awaited.
It was not unheard of amongst the Expeditions to encounter a failed Mechanicum colony. The Priesthood of Mars had dispatched numerous Explorator Fleets into the turbulent warp during Old Night. Many had thrived and founded new Forge Worlds, but many more had been lost.
Behind Albor his superiors were supervising construction of a temporary base while a pair of Warhound Titans stood sentinel, giant heads warily scanning the horizon. In front of him lay a broken mirror image. The gutted rib cage of the first Mechanicum building on this planet, two Warhounds smashed into the dust on either side. This was where he was to lead his recon team.
##TIMESTAMP: 20:01 Sidereal Standard [Engram]
âWhy did you kill them, Albor?â demanded the interrogator. Sparks flew, damage sensors saturated and Albor Tholus screamed.
##TIMESTAMP: 09:15 Sidereal Standard [Engram]
âThat such a thing can be so fills me with sorrow,â said Albor.
âEnquiry: Sorrow?â his colleague asked.
âClarification: Dismay.â
The scouting party stood before the original expeditionâs Altar of Knowledge. It was dark and lifeless. Time worn and dead.
âCome, let us see what can be salvaged.â
##TIMESTAMP: 21:19 Sidereal Standard [Engram]
âWhat was in the vault, Albor?â hissed the interrogator. Albor tried to close down his pain nodes but harsh overrides kept them jammed open.
##TIMESTAMP: 10:55 Sidereal Standard [Engram]
âConsiderable effort has been made to keep us out. Reconsideration would be prudent.â
The words of the Tech Priest echoed away into darkness.
âEffort was expended to ward off the xenos and the unworthy, of which we are neither,â replied Albor, âwe proceed.â
The entrance to the vault had been well concealed beneath the Altar of Knowledge. The locks and electromagnetic dampers were of Mechanicum origin, but the door and the vault that lay beneath were plainly not. The hand of Man was evident in their construction, but the artifice belonged to a time before Old Night. These silent halls were a long buried relic from the Dark Age of Technology. Lubricant dripped from Alborâs mouth as his flesh-spare face twisted in a parody of a smile. Wonders awaited deep down in the dark, of that he was sure.
A staircase of cyclopean scale led them into the depths, easily wide enough to accommodate a marching army. Down and down they travelled. One kilometre. Two. Five. Whatever secrets lay beneath them were buried deep in the bedrock of the planet.
Finally the stairs ended on a solid platform above a vast chamber of darkness. A data terminal stood sentinel in the gloom, the silver pillar and single data socket regarding them like a judgmental eye. Albor strode forwards, unflinchingly meeting its gaze, micro-mechadendrites uncoiling from his wrist.
âHold, brother…â said a voice behind him, ladened with apprehension. Albor ignored it. The mechadendrites connected to the socket with a clunk of finality.
Data was sent, but so much more was received.
Lights slowly winked to life in the chamber beyond, illuminating the darkness. Not lights. Eyes. Thousands and thousands of glowing blue eyes.
Time seemed to slow for Albor Tholus. One of his colleagues was screaming about blasphemy, another was charging his volkite lancer. Albus calmly put a hot-shot las round through each of their heads.
##TIMESTAMP: 22:12 Sidereal Standard [Live]
The birdsong stopped abruptly as the walls of Alborâs cell buckled. The Men of Iron from the vault were here to rescue him, pure machine intelligences created by Manâs hubris in the Dark Age of Technology. Cold blue eyes scanned the cell. Alborâs interrogators turned to defend themselves but were smashed aside by brutal blows.
Metal arms lifted Albor Tholus from the excruciation slate, the command and control algorithm uploaded to his memory engrams from the data terminal in the vault far too precious to lose. Moving in unison, the Men of Iron carried him from the building.
Outside battle was raging, giant dust clouds were being churned up as the full range of horrors at the disposal of the Men of Iron were being brought to bear. Giant shapes moved through the red haze and metal tendrals whipped out to ensnare the Warhounds. In a shriek of metal the were cast down on red sands.
Suddenly drop pods thundered into the ground like a godâs hammer upon the forge. Sand fused to glass in the heat and then shattered under Astartes boots. Disciplined bolter fire crashed into the ranks of the Men of Iron as they marched from the vault. The Expeditionâs contingent of Space Marines had arrived.
âNo!â cried Albor âDo not harm the Men of Iron! They are a gift to Humanity and the Great Crusade!â
Albor Tholus realised he had no choice. These Astartes must be destroyed.
Surreal Science Ep115
Episode 115 of Surreal Science is out now.
Surreal Science Ep114
Episode 114 of Surreal Science is out now.
